Listen/purchase: Themes from William Blake’s The Marriage of Heaven and Hell by Ulver
Ever read dinosaur erotica and think, “I need this but for the holidays”?
For starters, [Red Hanner’s A Kiss From Krampus] is long. My previous experience with the world of monsterotica has been that they tend to clock in at around six pages, just long enough for you to satisfy whatever need you may have that requires a book about a cavewoman getting it triceratops style. This one, however, is an actual novella at 92 pages. So if you’ve ever wondered what the glamorous life of an Internet comedy writer is like, imagine spending the better part of a Saturday reading a book about a woman blowing a Christmas goat monster while taking notes. Truly, I am living the dream. A very, very specific dream.
Must. Have. NOW.
Merry Christmas, pervs!
During Christmas in the 1870s, when he wasn’t sending horse-led sleighs piled high with food and toys to his less fortunate neighbours, the inimitable Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) could usually be found at the family home with his wife and young children, often pretending to be Santa Claus. On Christmas morning of 1875, Twain’s 3-year-old daughter, Susie, awoke to find the following charming letter on her bed.
My dear Susie Clemens:
I have received and read all the letters which you and your little sister have written me by the hand of your mother and your nurses; I have also read those which you little people have written me with your own hands—for although you did not use any characters that are in grown peoples’ alphabet, you used the characters that all children in all lands on earth and in the twinkling stars use; and as all my subjects in the moon are children and use no character but that, you will easily understand that I can read your and your baby sister’s jagged and fantastic marks without any trouble at all. But I had trouble with those letters which you dictated through your mother and the nurses, for I am a foreigner and cannot read English writing well. You will find that I made no mistakes about the things which you and the baby ordered in your own letters—I went down your chimney at midnight when you were asleep and delivered them all myself—and kissed both of you, too, because you are good children, well trained, nice mannered, and about the most obedient little people I ever saw.
To read the rest of the letter, click here.
The prosthetic make-up Jim Carrey wore took 3 hours to apply. Carrey felt so horribly confined and uncomfortable in the latex skin he needed counseling from a Navy SEAL who taught him torture-resistance techniques.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
less in there
I, I, I,
outside the house
—Robert Creeley. Art credit Yu Yamauchi.